We saw an early showing of World War Z on Thursday. This is one of the first movies I’ve seen where the zombies move faster than a staggered walk. They ran. They climbed. They leapt. These things were no joke. It got me thinking, “What would I do if I had to face a zombie?” With that in mind, here are a few useful tips for bloggers facing zombies.
How to Survive Zombies
1. Zombies do not believe in “nofollow.”
If you see a zombie moving towards you, it’s probably best to run in the opposite direction.
2. Put your stockpiling skills to good use.
If there’s a zombie outbreak, you might want to hunker down in a safe place for awhile. Have at least a 2 week supply of food, water, basic medical supplies, etc. on hand “just in case.” This could come in handy in the event of other natural disasters as well.
3. You can’t kill a zombie with an iPad.
If you know me, you know that I’m not one for violence. I am, however, one for defending yourself…especially against zombies. If you carry a gun, remember to “aim for the head.” If you don’t carry a gun, you can use a knife or an axe (or a samurai sword, for you Walking Dead fans) to cut off their legs so they can’t chase you anymore and then either finish the job or hightail it out of zombie range.
4. Zombies do not smile for photos.
As much as we love posting to Instagram and sharing pictures of what we do, if you’re close enough to get a picture of a zombie, see tip #1. Do not risk your life to grab that perfect Instagram shot.
5. Build a barricade (but not with boxes).
For those of us who plan on defending our homes, it’s time to put those stacking skills to good use. Block doors and windows, and any other entrances to your home, with sturdy pieces of furniture or wood to help keep the zombies out.
6. Zombies are like Google Adsense, only worse.
Zombies might hang around, seemingly innocuous. But do one thing that they don’t like (ie. move or make a noise or have too many suspicious clicks) and they’ll instantly start chasing you (or disable your AdSense account…but since there are zombies, that’s not quite as important anymore.) So put those ninja skills to good use and walk quietly. If you accidentally wake up a zombie, see tip #1.
Do you have any tips for surviving zombies? Share them below so we can all survive!
Tasha-Ann says
June 22, 2013 at 4:11 pmHaha! This was fun to read. Luckily for me, I’m prepared for a zombie apocalypse. I got some crazy men in my family that are prepping for it.
Mer says
June 22, 2013 at 5:49 pmVery useful! Looking forward to seeing World War Z.
ANN*H says
June 22, 2013 at 6:55 pmI personally dont care for the Zombies and this apocalypse stuff. Its ugly and the world has enough crap to deal with much less worry about Zombies getting you .
Christine M says
June 23, 2013 at 2:00 pmWas very surprised to see this on WIC didn’t expect to see this on a Christian blog. I didn’t read the article bc I don’t understand the zombie hype.
Connie Gruning says
June 23, 2013 at 2:07 pmI love this article!! SO FUNNY!!! I’m still giggling. I’m certain that the don’t have your picture taken step was meant for me!! My kids are always adding addendums to invites… MOM do not dress up…. Mom do not bother famous people… man…so many rules!! Thanks for sharing!
tiffany dover says
June 23, 2013 at 4:23 pmEh, the zombie hype isn’t my thing but this article is hilarious! Come on people, take a joke. You may not understand the zombie thing but at least read the article. It’s too funny!
Cindy B says
June 23, 2013 at 11:19 pmGreat post 🙂 Hubby just picked up this book to read, so we’ll probably see the movie when he’s done reading…
Kristin S. says
June 24, 2013 at 11:35 amThis is very disappointing to see on a Christian blog. Call me old-fashioned and “not with the times”… neither was Jesus. When He walked the earth, He was neither fascinated with the church nor with the world. His singular fascination was with His Father’s business. Period. So sad to know that even Christians are giving themselves over to the fascinations held by the world. Unsubscribing from the emails today.
Christian Blog Lurker says
June 24, 2013 at 11:51 amAs a Christian, it always amazes me to come across other Christians like you, who choose to judge and condemn others for whatever reason.
*friendly reminder* THAT’S NOT YOUR JOB.
Fortunately, not all think this way. Keep on posting Miriam. 🙂
Ari says
June 24, 2013 at 11:41 pmThanks for the funny read! There’s some common sense (not only for zombie outbreaks) tips listed here. Run, keep yourself safe and have enough food! Got it. I’m not a fan of the zombie genre (movies, books, etc.) but in my opinion they’re not any more strange than other horror elements such as as vampires, ghosts, and aliens.