We saw an early showing of World War Z on Thursday. This is one of the first movies I’ve seen where the zombies move faster than a staggered walk. They ran. They climbed. They leapt. These things were no joke. It got me thinking, “What would I do if I had to face a zombie?” With that in mind, here are a few useful tips for bloggers facing zombies.
How to Survive Zombies
1. Zombies do not believe in “nofollow.”
If you see a zombie moving towards you, it’s probably best to run in the opposite direction.
2. Put your stockpiling skills to good use.
If there’s a zombie outbreak, you might want to hunker down in a safe place for awhile. Have at least a 2 week supply of food, water, basic medical supplies, etc. on hand “just in case.” This could come in handy in the event of other natural disasters as well.
3. You can’t kill a zombie with an iPad.
If you know me, you know that I’m not one for violence. I am, however, one for defending yourself…especially against zombies. If you carry a gun, remember to “aim for the head.” If you don’t carry a gun, you can use a knife or an axe (or a samurai sword, for you Walking Dead fans) to cut off their legs so they can’t chase you anymore and then either finish the job or hightail it out of zombie range.
4. Zombies do not smile for photos.
As much as we love posting to Instagram and sharing pictures of what we do, if you’re close enough to get a picture of a zombie, see tip #1. Do not risk your life to grab that perfect Instagram shot.
5. Build a barricade (but not with boxes).
For those of us who plan on defending our homes, it’s time to put those stacking skills to good use. Block doors and windows, and any other entrances to your home, with sturdy pieces of furniture or wood to help keep the zombies out.
6. Zombies are like Google Adsense, only worse.
Zombies might hang around, seemingly innocuous. But do one thing that they don’t like (ie. move or make a noise or have too many suspicious clicks) and they’ll instantly start chasing you (or disable your AdSense account…but since there are zombies, that’s not quite as important anymore.) So put those ninja skills to good use and walk quietly. If you accidentally wake up a zombie, see tip #1.
Do you have any tips for surviving zombies? Share them below so we can all survive!