If I Ruled The World…Clothes Would Fit Normal People

You know the saying “out with the old, in with the new?” Well this past month, my closet has gone through a serious purging process, where I sorted, tossed, or donated my clothes. I went through out-of-style, out-of-date, and out-of-my-size clothing items, ready to re-populate my closet with clothes that actually fit and clothes that actually made me look “nice.”

Sadly, since the last time I went through a wardrobe update process, apparently the fashion industry has decided to start making clothes as if everyone and their momma is a size 4, petite who wants to trounce around in fitted clothes. I am none of those things, so while I did find some new clothing items, about 90% of the inventory at the stores I visited were promptly rejected.

As the title of this post says, if I ruled the world, clothes would fit normal people. These are the fashion trends I would fix.

1. Jeans.
Not everyone wants to wear skinny jeans. Not everyone wants jeans so tight that you can see panty lines. Not everyone wants jeans so low that you can see underwear bands.
My solution: Jeans that sit at the waist, are shaped through the hips with ample room but aren’t clingy or baggy, are comfortable to wear and sit in, and are boot cut or slightly flared. 

2. Shirts.
Not everyone has cleavage. Not everyone who does have cleavage wants to show it off. Not everyone wants shirts so tight that you can see bra lines. Not everyone wants shirts that cling to every part of your skin. 99.999% of offices do NOT want you to show cleavage at work and do NOT want you to wear skin-tight, clingy shirts.
My solution: A nice shirt that is crew-neck or just below. V-necks are acceptable too as long as the “v” doesn’t fall below about 3″ below the base of the neck. The shirt would be fitted but not tight. Also, make the length appropriate. I should be able to pull the shirt down over the top of my pants and not have to worry about it riding above the edge when I bend down to pick something up.

3. Dresses.
Since when did it become acceptable for dresses to look like nightgowns? Or maybe women actually are wearing nightgowns as dresses, which is infinitely worse. Not everyone wants a “band-aid” dress. Not everyone wants to show off some leg. Not everyone wants their dress to be cut so low you can see their belly button.
My solution: Ban every single dress that looks like lingerie or a nightgown. Every dress would hit at about the knee (give an inch for the more modest, take an inch for those who want to show more skin.) I seriously miss those big foofy skirts from the 40’s & 50’s and think those should come back in style.

4. Skirts.
This was pretty much covered in my post called “Ban the Hoochie Skirt“.

5. Shorts.
Daisy Dukes are not real shorts. They look like jean underwear. Not everyone wants to show “cheekage” when wearing shorts. Not everyone wants holes in their shorts to show off the pocket liners. Not everyone wants to get wedgies when they sit down in their shorts.
My solution: More short options that hit at the knee. Again, give an inch for those who are more modest and take an inch (or maybe two… after all, they’re shorts) for those who want to show more. Shorts that do not “ride up” or show anything that is meant to be covered up. Shorts are usually worn during the summer when outdoors, which means we’re active. Loosely fitted material that allows movement would be perfect. 

I understand that my solutions might not suit everyone’s tastes. If you are one of those people that actually fit into the clothes that these fashion designers put out and can make them look good, then yay for you! This post is more for those of us who don’t quite fit into the clothes or don’t quite like the styles that show off skin. I’m definitely more in the “modest” category and just wish there were more options for people like me.