It’s the Truman Show! Adventures in Gardening

*WARNING* Heavy use of onomatopoeia!

Here’s the thing about spring. The warm weather comes, the sun is shining, and I can finally throw open the windows without fear of developing icicles on my nose. The fresh air, the chirping birds and the warmth just make me feel…happy.

So as I’m sitting in my living room, enjoying spring, I hear an ominous sound. “Whrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!” I look out the window and I see that the community gardeners are pulling out the old flowers from fall. They are then followed by a couple of guys with leaf blowers that are diligently blowing the mulch around. “Whrrrrr!” for the next 10 minutes. “Whrrrrrr!” Finally, after they’ve blown the mulch to Timbuktu, there is quiet again.

Then, another sound comes echoing from the distance. It sounds something like “Rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.” It gradually becomes louder, and louder and louder until a large, grass chopping machine comes into view. It’s the community gardeners mowing the grass on the sidewalks. Fortunately, the lawn mower is mowing at a good clip, and the machine quickly rolls down the road. Peace and quiet again.

Then…20 minutes later, I hear it again. What in the world? They just mowed the lawn? I know they use fertilizer, but come on, grass doesn’t grow that fast. I peek out the window, only this time, it’s someone with an edger. A different tool but it makes the same “Rrrrrrr” noise except higher pitched. Like an octave higher or something. And since this gardener is on foot, the “Rrrrrrr”ing lasts much longer as he walks around each little rectangle of grass.

Just when I think I have peace and quiet again, there it is in the distance. RRrrrrr! Rrrrrr! Rrrrrrrrrrrr! I look out the window and it’s ANOTHER lawn mower. Only this time, it’s smaller so it can get into the smaller courtyards that the driving mower couldn’t reach. That’s why it was a sporadic Rrrrrrr and not a constant Rrrrrrr. Small lawn mower man diligently mows the smaller areas for the next 15 minutes.

As if that wasn’t enough, you know what comes Whhhhring down the sidewalk a few minutes later? It’s the leaf blower man again! Only this time, he’s blowing the grass that the edger and the lawn mowers left behind instead of mulch. Finally, after lots and lots Whhrrring, the afternoon falls silent. The birds begin to chirp again.

I know in a day or two, it will be time to plan the flowers, which will inevitably throw mulch onto the ground, which guys with leaf blowers will then need to blow into the next state. And then the day after that, I’ll see the guy on the mower followed diligently by the guy with the edger and then followed by the guy with the leaf blower. It’s like an endless cycle!

It almost makes me want to yell “Good Morning!” out the window.

And if I don’t see you…Good Afternoon, Good Evening, and Good Night!

4/28 UPDATE: As of three minutes ago, lawn mower guy is back. They are now mowing the lawn on the other side of the street…..

4/29 UPDATE: This morning, there was another leaf blower guy. That’s four days in a row that someone has walked down the street with a noisy gardening contraption.