I’ll admit it – yesterday, around 1PM, I suffered from a case of the doldrums. While this could be attributed to my lack of sleep or perhaps not enough sugar in my bloodstream, I’m 99.999% sure that I was starting to get depressed about my search for a BlogHer ’10 conference pass. I wanted to share this with you because I think what happened to me yesterday is a classic case of how allowing yourself to become fixated on something, or setting certain expectations, can affect your life – even causing you to forget about or miss other blessings that are happening.
A couple of weeks ago, I decided that I wanted to attend BlogHer ’10. I’d just launched the new blog design and thought that now that the blog is at its new permanent home, I could start branching out, networking, meeting new people, and work towards helping the blog grow. BlogHer ’10 is one of those conferences that will allow me to do just that. Unfortunately, the conference tickets sold out in a flash, so I had to resign myself to the waitlist – a mystery list of people that is who knows how long, from which the conference sponsors will take who knows how many people, who knows how many days before the conference starts. Then I saw a tweet about someone selling their BlogHer ticket on Ebay. I pounced…I even chased the bid up to an obscene amount of money, only to call it quits when it started approaching $600. The ticket finally sold for $660. Since then, I’ve been tweeting and stalking the BlogHer discussion boards daily, hourly, minutely, in hopes that I’ll be able to nab a BlogHer ticket that goes for sale before one of the other hundreds of bloggers gets to it.
Then yesterday afternoon, it hit me. After another plea out, after another ticket gone, I started getting….disappointed. I felt a weight come upon me and just wanted to crawl into a warm bed and sleep. I knew what was going on. I cool feel the change of spirit within me and I knew I didn’t like feeling that way. Fortunately, I was able to call up my friend Gil, and he was able to meet me for a short break. As we walked and as I drank my delicious ginger limeade, he reminded me that God has His own plan. Maybe I’m meant to go to BlogHer, but maybe I’m not. I need to remember that it is “Thy kingdom come, Thy will be done” not “my will be done.” For those who aren’t religious, basically it’s saying, “Everything happens for a reason and everything will work out in the end.”
I also realized that because I was SO caught up in not getting a BlogHer ticket, I completely was forgetting the fact that I had actually purchased a Relevant ’10 ticket and had reserved the hotel room. For shame! Letting disappointment keep me from reveling in the blessing of being able to attend a faith-based conference is NOT good. So, after a reminder from Gil, and a quick prayer to cast off disappointment and negativity and to fill up with the Holy Spirit, I started feeling better – with a lighter heart and a better perspective. Don’t get me wrong, I’m still going to try to get a BlogHer ticket (if you know where I can get one, please let me know!) but I’m not going to approach it with the same icky spirit that will surely hinder, not help the situation. If I’m able to go to BlogHer – praise God! If I don’t go to BlogHer – praise God!
That afternoon really made me appreciate the importance of having like-minded friends. The whole scenario could’ve ended very differently if I had turned to a friend that was dramatic and started saying stuff like, “Oh, that sucks.” Gil walks the same path that I do – one that embraces light and positivity and rejects negativity and drama. Having friends who share the same walk and same perspective helps me to stay the person I’m striving to be. They’ll let me know when I’m starting to stress out or acting in an un-godly fashion. That’s why my friends are for – support, patience, listening, understanding, and so much more.
If you find yourself getting stressed out about something, I encourage you to take a moment and breathe. Pray. Call someone to pray with you. If you want, leave a comment here and I will pray for you. Stress will only make things harder, so let’s actively fight stress and negativity by filling up with light, love, and the pursuit of happiness.
Peace and Blessings,